Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Hyper-Parenting

Reagan has a VERY busy schedule this year.  And we created it that way on purpose, to some degree.  But in the entire process of configuring her schedule of activities for this year, I have been asking myself if she is now a victim of "hyper parenting".  Truthfully, I don't think so, because even though she is in a handful of different activities and her schedule is full, Ryan and I didn't plan it this way with the hope to make her more successful in life.  We just did it to let her be a part of ALL of the activities that she asked to be in.

Maybe I need to do a post in the future about being spoiled...

Ahem... getting back on track here...

By definition, hyper parenting is
"a style of child-rearing that has, perhaps inadvertently, become the prescribed way to raise children in middle and upper middle class families. Hyper-Parenting, and its logical consequence - over-scheduled families - have evolved from the belief that within every parent is the power (and obligation) to craft the perfect childhood for our kids, one that will guarantee a successful adulthood in the impossibly competitive new e-world.
It is a philosophy built upon the belief that the right possessions and enrichment activities, combined with regular practice, and intense, parental guidance will enable every one of us to raise a perfect kid who will get into Harvard, Yale, Duke, UVa, Stanford, or Princeton (aren't those the places where successful kids go?) and therefore and thereafter, will lead a life of fame and fortune. Children not given these enrichment opportunities will end up hopelessly behind, losers not winners."
Like I said, Reagan has a very busy schedule...

6 hours of Kindergarten Monday - Friday
3 hours of Gymnastics on Monday
45 minutes of Ballet on Tuesday
45 minutes of Tap on Wednesday
3 hours of Gymnastics on Thursday
45 minutes of Jazz on Friday

We would have preferred to have only done 2 of the 3 dance classes, but the third class was practically given to us for free, so we decided to add it on as well.  And we would have preferred for at least 2 of the 3 dance classes to have been on the same day, back to back, so that she would at least have one day of the week with no after-school activity to attend.

But this is what she wanted, so this is what she got!  We agreed that, for this year, she could be involved in all of the above so that she can better decide what her favourite activity is and what she would most prefer to devote her time to in the future.  If any of them.  She can decide that she would rather do under water basket weaving, and we would support her in that decision.  As long as it doesn't interfere with her education, we will support it!  So, down the road, after kindergarten, her schedule will certainly have to become more relaxed.

And that is the thinking that I hope, doesn't label me as a "hyper parent".  It is her choice, not our calculated planning for success, that drives this busy schedule.   She loves all of it, and I honestly think that she would be bored out of her skull if she didn't have something to do every afternoon.

I, on the other hand, am having a hard time of keeping up!  It's only September, and I am already exhausted by the schedule of driving her to and from here and there.   All I can say is, thank heavens for Starbucks...  This taxi driver needs it!

1 comment:

Sparkless said...

The most important thing is not that she gets to do everything she wants but that she has enough free play time when there is nothing scheduled. Free unstructured play is very important for children's development.
Now it would be nice for someone to tell us parents how much time that is exactly but I guess we all have to muddle through with these types of vague guidelines.