"I Think My Water Just Broke!"

It seems crazy to me that it has been THREE years to the day since I was lying in bed, talking to my mom on the phone, when I suddenly exclaimed, "I think my water just broke!"

Looking back, I guess you could say that I had "not the greatest" pregnancy. I was constantly nauseous unless I was eating. That might have something to do with why I gained over 60 pounds... I think at least 5 pounds of that was in my nose alone! I couldn't wear normal shoes past week 26 because my feet were so swollen. And finally, I was toxic with preeclampsia which caused me to have to go on bed rest at week 33. But in all honesty, I loved all of it. I truly loved being pregnant. Reagan was a VERY planned baby, and I remember the feeling of being over the moon with excitement when we found out that I was pregnant. Laugh if you must, but I did SIX pregnancy tests that week that ALL came back with a positive result just because I got such joy from seeing those two lines! I cried the first time we heard her heartbeat... it was magical. Ryan would tell me that I was positively glowing every time that we would have an ultrasound... I would just be so excited to catch a glimpse of her. And thinking about the day we found out that we were having a little girl still brings me to tears sometimes. It was Christmas morning, and we had our doctor put the "results" in a sealed envelope that we placed under our tree. The envelope was our final present to open that morning. As soon as we found out that we were having a little girl, I was instantly envisioning ballet shoes, pink dresses and pigtails!I felt like my entire pregnancy was a gift. I loved knowing that it was our time, just the two of us. Every kick, every hiccup, every flip... feelings that only Reagan and I could share. If it weren't for the fact that I was so ready to hold my sweet child in my arms, and for the fact that it really wouldn't have been very fair to her Daddy to do so, I could have stayed pregnant forever! But on April 22, 2006, when my water broke, I was ready. Ready to see her, hold her, nurse her, and love her. She, on the other hand, wasn't quite so ready just yet!We arrived at the hospital where we had planned all along to give birth only to find out that they wanted to send me to a different hospital because our hospital was too busy. I begged my doctor to keep me there, but she said that she had to follow procedure. I cried, my husband started begging on my behalf, I phoned my parents, I prayed. I just wanted to be in "my" hospital where I was comfortable... where I had PLANNED to be. (Remember, I'm a bit of a planner!) My OB came back into the room with the most wonderful news... since I had tested as Group B Strep positive, the other hospital would not accept me. I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO STAY RIGHT WHERE I WAS! Thank you Lord for small blessings in disguise. I had never been so thankful to have a "problem" like Group B Strep before in my life. I was admitted, taken to my birthing suite, and hooked up to several different machines along with a constant IV drip of penicillin for the now gloriously wonderful ailment of Group B Strep! Even though my water had broken, I was showing no signs of labor, so we just settled in for the evening knowing that the next day would be Reagan's birth day. We were so wrong!

The next morning around 9:00, I was induced with pitocin. By noon I was having some seriously strong contractions that were becoming steadily more painful. This lasted until 2 PM when the nurse stopped my pitocin drip to see if I could continue to labor on my own. An hour later, my contractions had stopped completely. I was thankful for the break, but disappointed that I couldn't do it on my own. By 3:30, I was back on the drip at increasingly larger doses. I was determined to not use any drugs... I wanted as natural of a birthing process as possible. I was stupid! I was crazy! I was naive! I was unprepared for the pain of induction! At 5:00 that evening, I was only 1 cm dilated. Despite the fact that I was having NON-STOP contractions (literally one would start before the previous one had even ended) I was still only 1 cm dilated at midnight that night. I accepted the laughing gas that the nurse was offering around 7 PM. By 9:00, I let her give me a shot of morphine. By midnight, I gave up the fight and let my husband and the nurses convince me to have an epidural! Only one hour after the epidural, when my body finally relaxed for the first time in over 15 hours, I was at 7 cm dilated! At 4:30 in the morning on April 24, 2006, I began to push. Nearly two hours later, at 6:12 AM, little Miss Reagan Marie Knopp was born weighing 7 lbs 8 oz and 19.25 inches long.I'll share a brief portion of an entry from my pregnancy journal on the day she was born....

When the nurse handed her to me, I was instantly and madly in love. It was amazing. She looked up at me, and my heart just melted. I will spend the rest of my life doing all that I can to make this little angel happy. I want her to know how much I love her, I want her to know that she can count on me and trust me for anything that she needs, I want her to know that I will protect her, I want her to know that she is capable of doing anything that she wants to accomplish, I want her to know that I will help her make all of her dreams come true because she truly is a dream come true to me.

Now, in just two days, my precious baby will be three years old. None of my feelings have changed since the day that she came into the world... BUT THEY HAVE GROWN MUCH STRONGER!